What do you think is the best way to learn how to be successful? Obviously, the first answer would be learning from successful people. Sure, there are habits you want to glean from them. You also want to understand their perspectives, how they see challenges, how they plan their day, working from one priority to another.
However, the first genuinely successful person thought differently. He was not just successful, but the merriest person I ever met. He loved his work, cared about his time, but most importantly cared about people. Still, only a decade before, he had once lost the job he felt was his dream, lost his wife and everything he held dear. But he never let it stop him from achieving success.
I was so eager to learn everything from him once we finally got together. But, the only thing he told me is that I shouldn’t concentrate on trying to do like him, but ensure that I wasn’t doing those things that unsuccessful people do.
At first, it was all confusing. But when I began to think about it, I realized that success wasn’t a plug and play situation. It wasn’t doing something to getting something else. It wasn’t an easy path, with everything laid out in front. And so, following my friend’s advice, I began to work on understanding those bad habits and mistakes. Those self-imposed obstacles that were stopping me from truly achieving success. And so, I want to share them with you, to help you figure out how to stop limiting yourself by avoiding these 10 bad habits of unsuccessful people.
1. Letting Distractions Rule
There’s one thing we all share that is equal – 24 hours, every single day. No one gets a dozen extra, so what you do with it matters a lot. One of the things unsuccessful people fail to realize is that your time is never going to be enough for all the fun things you want to do. So, you have to learn to manage it efficiently. You may wonder, there is really nothing at all you are doing that is chipping your time away, but you can’t seem to keep track of it”.
But what about the number of times you check your phone, instant messaging apps, group messages, the latest hot gist on social media, or even the online shops you browse without buying anything. In the book, Essentialism by the time-management consultant, Greg Mckeown, he describes running into a former classmate who was between jobs and seeking advice about his career.
While they were discussing, his friend suddenly brought out his phone and began typing. In no time, ten seconds went by and then 20 seconds, and he kept on typing furiously on his phone. After waiting for some minutes, Mckeown narrates that he gave up and walked away. It’s the same thing a lot of us do, all day, always having too many things to handle when in reality, we filled out time with irrelevant activities.
2. Talking Without Doing Anything
How many times have you told yourself, “I’m going to start a business,” “I will quit this hateful job,” “I’ve got this multimillion-dollar idea.”
When did you start doing something about them? Probably never, and that in truth is stopping you from success. It’s not about having a really incredible idea or having all the talents or the plans laid out. It is about actually putting one foot forward and going all out to make that vision a reality. Many of us will even begin broadcasting all our goals out to the next person. According to Derek Silvers, that action is counterproductive. When you talk to people about your intentions, you might get applauded for it, or appreciated for having such intentions. But that applause or praise will only counterintuitively sap all your willpower, and you may never follow through on the plans you have laid out. According to Derek Silvers in his 2010 TED talk, “psychologists have found that it’s called a ‘social reality, the mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it’s already done. And then because you’ve felt that satisfaction, you’re less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary” Sure, there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your lovely ideas with someone, but why not wait it out until you actually have good news to share.
3. Focusing On The Negatives
I’ve walked around with people who are so quick to pick out the reasons why this or that may not work and trust me, they never seem to move upwards. Still, these people are thought to be realistic about life, when they are so caught up in the “risks” that they never take time to turn their lives around. As my successful friend says, you have to focus on the positives without pretending that life is easy”. You should see the risks, the challenges, and obstacles as a part of the thrill while you focus entirely on the positives. However, if you always hate everything – risks, obstacles, and challenges – you will have a lousy life. It’s that simple.
Sometimes we shift things forward that we are better off doing now. If you get stuck in the mindset of doing it later, how then can you finish off one goal and move to another? Get rid of the mentality of pushing away tasks you should finish now just because you believe that you may not be able to accomplish them. Better sooner and not later, accept what you have to do as necessary.
5. Not Listening To Others
Excellent communication with others begins from being a good listener. It will help you understand emotions, behaviors, and can even help you get in the right direction. When you listen well to others, it shows that you care about them. That way, you can draw insights and knowledge from others. In turn, you will be able to build valuable and long-time relationships with others.
6. Allowing Laziness To Win
One of the biggest habits of unsuccessful people is giving in to the temptation to give up. They are forever tired of the efforts it takes to be better, or handle tasks. All they unconsciously think about is canceling plans even for something fun. But did you know that adventures, going into unchartered territories, doing something new is what makes life meaningful. Think about this, laziness is what stops you from remembering to participate in the lives of your loved ones, or going the extra mile to build better relationships. When you let go of laziness, you give your life a new turn.
7. Lack Of Curiosity
A long time ago, it was almost impossible to choose the things you want, the career path, the kind of life partner you desire, or even your hobbies. Today, everything you want is within your fingertips. However, it’s not about having them close to you, it’s about reaching out and grasping them. Think about this, you cannot find answers on the search engine if you are not asking them. So, you have to redefine your mindset by becoming curious. Curiosity can take you beyond your wildest dreams. It gives you the power to dream big dreams and follow them to the latter. Otherwise, it is impossible to dream if you aren’t curious enough.
8. Lack Of Kindness
The world today is fast moving to a stage where no one thinks about others anymore, and if you look closely, you will realize that it is the reason why everything seems to be falling apart. Kindness is important. Being kind to others and to yourself can help you build lovely relationships. Kindness creates a kind of positive vibe around you that others want to be a part of, which in turn opens the doors to unlimited opportunities.
9. Giving Up Too Soon
Thomas Edison once made this statement, “The most certain way to succeed is to always try one more time.” However, you look at success, you must realize that it’s only about trying. Becoming successful is about doing everything possible to succeed, it’s about pushing harder, working harder towards that goal. Giving up just isn’t a part of it.
Did you enjoy our list of Self Destructive Habits Of Unsuccessful People? Do you have some that you would add to the list? Please let us know in the comments!
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